Reconciliation and Recreation

 I think that in light of recent events, it's time things changed with me.  I've begun a process of reconciling with past issues and redesigning myself both in state of mind and general presence.  Since work was slow, I spent the day re-reading my old LiveJournal postings and quite frankly, they were disgusting.  In all truthfulness, I sounded like her and I was utterly appalled, though I have noticed some changes from 2005 till now in my general maturity but it's not enough.  Things I've learned this year:

1)  The past needs to stay in the past.  No more bringing up sore feelings and trying to reach out to people I used to talk to.  If we've stopped talking, it was for a reason and I should no longer try to contact them.  If they wish to reconnect with me, they can initiate it.

2)  No more being so open about every single little thing in my life.  It's time I actually had a private life.  People don't need to know every single detail and every single thought.  In fact, they'd probably appreciate that.

3)  No more allowing people to friend me on Facebook if I do not talk to them.  Yes, I might have gone to high school or college with you but that does not mean we are friends and I want to let you in my life.  I need to not be afraid of the "decline" button.

That's pretty much it for now.  I had sent some thank yous/apologies to old friends for my behavior and two of them pretty much bit me in the ass - it's likely the third will as well.  As sad as it is to see people who used to be so dear to me move so far away in my life, it's best that way.  For everyone.

Reconciliation and Recreation are my mottoes for 2012.  I mean, hey, we do only have 10 months and 19 days until the world goes to shit anyways.  Might as well live it up as best I can.

(Originally posted to Mindful Fiascos, 1.31.2012.)

Just Another Perfect Day and Before You Know, It's Gone

 Story starter centered around a title I thought of while driving home one night.  I have no idea where the story is going.

Lingering Aftermath of Illspoken Words

Chapter 1 (Section 1?)

“Where are you going now?  It's almost dinner time...”  
“Out, woman.  I told you I have a presentation to work on due next week.”  Giovanni rolled his eyes as he grabbed his coat and slammed the door on her remark.  He didn't really care anymore about her snide comments or nagging attitude; only about the sexy brunette eagerly awaiting his arrival at the University library.  Isabelle's feelings toward him had waned, he told himself.  She probably knew about Veronica but still tried hard to keep their relationship intact.  But it was a dying relationship, if not already dead.  Any love he had felt for her diminished steadily the more he met with his presentation partner – sassy sea-green eyes, silky brown hair begging to be brushed aside, and the best pair of legs he had ever seen on a female.  She didn't nag him to be home at a certain time; nag him to spend every waking minute with her.  
The brisk, September air cooled his hot temper a degree or so as he walked the half-mile to the library.  It was easier and quicker to drive, but he loved to tease Vonny by showing up late.  The longer he takes, the more her desire builds, and the more delicious their meeting after working would be.
He could see her bouncing on her heels, watching the distance for his arrival.  He smiled when she perked up and ran towards him, the corner of her mouth turned down in frustration.  
“You jerk!  I've been here for 15 minutes waiting for that lazy ass of yours.  Why do you always do this??”
He smirked and said, “Because you look too damn sexy when you are mad at me.”  Vonny whacked the side of his head then grabbed his arm and dragged him into the library.  The solitary table in the back of the study room was empty of people as usual but heaped up with books for their research.  Flirting with the library attendant proved to be useful, despite her frumpiness and forward advances, but that was nothing Giovanni could not handle.  
“Speak of the devil,” he murmured as she came scurrying up to their table, jealously eyeing Vonny leaning towards him.
“Gio?  Nice to see you again tonight,” she giggled and twirled a strand of stringy hair around her finger.  “I found a great book for you in the archives.  I think it will really help with your research!”
Vonny snorted and waved her hand in the girl's direction.  “Thanks, Beth.  Just leave it on the table and we'll get to it.  We have a lot to do tonight and no time for chatting.”  She turned back to Gio and resumed her soft-spoken conversation.  Gio smiled at Beth, taking the book from her and tucking it with the rest.
“Thanks, Beth,” he said winking then turned back to Vonny and her notes.  Beth bounced away happily and Gio sighed.
“I really don't know why you do that,” Vonny said, making a wry face.  “She is such a scrub, why do you waste your time?”
“The perks, Vonny, the perks.”  He laughed at her reaction and clarified, “Not like that.  It just means we don't have to scour the entire library for books.  We can just have her do it instead, which means I get more time with you.”  
“So how's that woman of yours, anyway?  Did she give you any trouble when you left?”
“You know she did.  I honestly can't stand it anymore...Maybe I'll end it if I ever go home and run away with you, Vonny.”  He smirked at her when she blushed but smacked him again and said,
“Don't tease me, Gio.  You'll never leave her.  Didn't that fortuneteller say you'll be together for eternity or some trash like that?”
Gio shook his head as he thought about the fortuneteller from years ago.  “She was just some old bag trying to make a quick buck.  It was complete bullshit.  Besides, you are the woman of my dreams, baby.”  He grabbed her chin and kissed her hard then pushed her away and grabbed the new book Beth brought.  Vonny shook the stars from her eyes and leaned over his shoulder to see as well.  It was a well-worn volume, with brown, tattered pages and hard-to-decipher, handwritten words.  The cover was simple, bound in navy blue leather with a fine tracery of gold around the edges.  
“What is this one about, anyways?  I can't even read the handwriting!”  Vonny scrunched her face and leaned in closer giving Gio a prime chance to smell the strawberry shampoo she always used.  She knew he liked it.  The little temptress.   
“Looks like a diary by some woman named Elizabeth in London.  Says here in the intro she was of some lower noble class who met with a tragic ending but won’t say what yet.  This actually might be pertinent to our research…”
“Hmm, whatever.  Looks boring to me.  How about you take that one and let me know how it is while I go to the ladies room.  Be back in a bit, sunshine!”  
Gio watched her walk for a few minutes then turned his attention to the diary.

** Hopefully more to come soon. Seeing as how the cute guy left Starbucks and now I have no one to pretend to look busy for...I have to actually be busy! **

(Originally posted to Mindful Fiascos, 1.30.2012.)

The Underworkings of an Intricate Mind

 That's correct - underworkings, not innerworkings.  I feel my thought processes come from somewhere underneath all the mush known as brain tissue rather than inside, which really doesn't make too much sense since our thoughts do come from the brain.  But, this is my world and how I choose to run it.

In actuality, I feel sorry for people who have to tolerate my excessiveness.  My main infliction is asking questions that really have no answer and that make no difference in the grand scheme of things.  For instance, wondering why water does not simply *fall* down a drain but has to spiral.  Which is another interesting point because depending on where in the world you are, it spirals a different way.  Now I know this has to do with the equator and center of gravity, blah, blah, blah...

My main concern is how in the world I can write a novel.  My vocabulary usage is skewed...I think a word sounds correct where I place it but in reality, it is used wrong.  And here I am, a graduated English major.

Something to work on....

A few words I want to incorporate in my  novel:
-androgynous
-antithesis
-viscera (not sure how I'll work that in but it just sounds fantastic)

Anyways, that's all for now!

(Originally posted on Mindful Fiascos, 4.27.11.)

New Beginnings...*how cliche!*

 Many have suggested the usefulness of starting a blog and dare I say I will actually listen, especially since my desire to be read has intensified due to recent events.  My prose is bleak and commonplace but holds an intrinsic charm, I suppose.  Or maybe not.

This is all I plan on saying today.  Have a nice day!

(This is my cactus, Bonita.  Muy bonita, n'est pas?)

(Originally published to Mindful Fiascos, April 25th, 2011.)